Rumors about a 3rd Bill and Ted movie have been bubbling around pretty much since the end from the second Bill plus Ted movie, that you and your formerly athletic and presently drooping musculature will be stunned to understand occurred in 1991. NINETEEN NINETY-ONE, GRANDPA. That is very close to banging on THIRTY YEARS AGO. You know what’ s weird is Googling details of a Bill plus Ted movie plus being reminded of your own mortality. Wasn’ t expecting that.
Anyway, Bill and Ted! Buzz for a third movie is certainly picking up again, at least according to the over-caffeinated super-tweeting members of The Internet, making its collective clothes damp plus heavy every time two cast users from a ‘ 90s show converge for any activity at all. (JAMES VEHICLE DER BEEK AND KATIE SHERLOCK HOLMES SPOTTED IN SAME GAP FOR CHILDREN, DAWSON’ S CREEK REUNION IS REALLY A 100% LOCK AND WE ARE CRYING)
Earlier recently, Entertainment Weekly, which is basically 80 percent just pictures of cast family reunions and anecdotes about alternate being at this point, evaluated Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter as well as the movie’ s crew to lay out the possibility for a 30-years-later sequel called Costs and Ted Face the Music , which will ostensibly be about the worldwide history-rattling success of their band Wyld Stallyns. (If you think a 30-years-older Bill and Ted are too paunchy/gray to put on a reunion rock display, hahahahahahahaha. )
But let’ t back up. If you put other stuff inside your brain after ’ 91, in late the original movie, a miraculously throw George Carlin alerted us that will Bill and Ted’ s songs brought peace to the globe, usa all peoples, shut down Trump’ h businesses (I’ m just assuming) and ushered in a new fantastic age, one that was overseen with a galactically appointed Clarence Clemons as well as the guitarist from Faith No More. Indeed, people: Carlin, Clemons AND Rick Martin. You find me a better ensemble in a ‘ 90s movie compared to first Bill plus Ted . You try. I’ m waiting.
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Anyway, it up the second movie, which was released about 30 minutes later and has been PHENOMENALLY BONKERS. It was originally entitled Bill and Ted Go to Hell plus found the duo dancing along with Actual Death during a trip to the particular fiery underworld, but they had to replace the name because the MPAA, an organization that will OK’ d you bringing your own seven-year-old to an Indiana Jones film where a shaman claws a defeating heart out of a man with emotions, said you couldn’ t place “ Hell” in a title. (Ugh, Hollywood liberals, am I correct. ) A few minutes of thesaurus activity later, the crew came up with “ Bill and Ted’ s Fake Journey, ” and left everything about hell and Death (who was played by William Sadler, the cube-jawed villain from Die Hard 2 and a man who a new more fun two years in 1990-1991 compared to you will ever have).
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They also added two hrs of sweaty, nightmarish post-salmonella temperature dreams! The script apparently had been written well into production, which might account for the hideous Easter Rabbit doll in hell, a psychotic grandmother played by Winter within drag, robot Bill and Teds that looked like they were assembled within a ninth-grade Camp Invention week plus an inexplicable animatronic Where the Wild Things Are outtake named Station, who had been fat, Martian and also a genius. (The article reveals the bafflingly called character got his moniker once the writers basically magic-markered out almost everything on a screenplay page except the term “ Station, ” which is honestly a better explanation than I was anticipating. )
Need more? Bill’ s stepmom splitting of marriages Bill’ s dad and marries Ted’ s dad. Also, film production company opens with the evil Camp Innovation robots KILLING BILL AND TED, which was a lot to take in when you had been a ninth grader. Also, Passing away takes Bill and Ted to see ACTUAL GOD, which seems like something which would deeply freak out about five hundred Midwestern TV stations in 2018. Also, the big revelatory song by the end is a furiously cheesy power ballad by makeup-less KISS with the REAL TITLE “ God Gave Rock and roll n’ Roll To You, ” due to the fact KISS is nothing if not excessively loyal to screenplays.
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To recap: This film got made, and continues to be precious, and this was about to be a piece in regards to the vague dullness of constant reminiscence, but I have 100% changed the mind. Everything in the ‘ 90s was absolutely better. The news wasn’ t entirely garbage and strike rifles weren’ t available in educational institutions and most us still had apparent skin and unbroken dreams. Provide us Bill plus Ted 3 , bring all of us old movies for the next fifty years and the Wyld Stallyns permanently.
